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beautifully flawed

Jeremiah 18:4 | And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

September 22, 2020


Back in the 90s I was the Assistant Minister of Music at a church. I had my choirs and I LOVED what I was doing. However, the Pastor told me that I would never be the Minister of Music because I was a woman and I didn’t play the organ. Funny thing is I had been playing and directing choirs since I was 12. When I came to Howard Univ., the 1st thing I did was find a church to play for and I have stayed employed as a church musician ever since. Never once did I have a complex about NOT playing the organ nor did I have a problem because I was a woman. Truth is, at the time, I really didn’t want to be a Minister of Music but the reality was, I was doing the job in the background and quite effectively might I add. So now all of a sudden I had a complex about this organ thing and why it mattered that I was a woman???

I was pressed! True story, I would go into the sanctuary periodically when nobody else was there and sit on the organ. I would sit there for hours and pray and cry, and ask God to anoint me to play the organ. Twinkie Clark has always been my idol so I was channeling Twinkie lol. I do have the Holy Ghost and I didn’t have to tarry to receive it. He just gave it to me after fasting, praying and asking for it—same thing right? So I believed that He would do it in this situation. 😉 Well 1st of all I’m short so my feet didn’t really reach the pedals. 2nd I don’t chord well with my left hand. 3rd I’m not that coordinated to worry about bass pedals AND left and right hand chords! I sat there wishing and hoping but nothing happened!

Isn’t it funny how you can be going about your business, enjoying life and as soon as somebody tells you that you CAN’T do something or CAN’T have something then it’s an issue? I’ve always been able to do whatever I wanted to do; conquer any obstacle, jump over any hurdle. (sidebar—I actually ran track in elementary and high school and hurdles was 1 of my events. My mother still has my trophies 😆😁)

But doesn’t this sound familiar. Adam and Eve were in the garden, lovin’ life, enjoying the blessings of God. And here comes the snake… look at this fruit isn’t it pretty and shiny. Forget everything that God has given you, you need this ONE thing right here to make you happy…

Earth to Kendall—I am not perfect. I have flaws. There are some things that I cannot do. I’m not superwoman. The most important thing is that I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I allowed somebody else’s insecurities make me feel inadequate about something I initially didn’t even care about! I thank God for my flaws. He takes our flaws and makes something beautiful. I love the old Philly Mass song “He took me and made something beautiful out of my life…” If we could do everything, we wouldn’t need God for anything! It’s in our frailness and weakness that we are made strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I may not be able to play the organ but look at all of the other gifts that God has blessed me with. All these years later the enemy is still trying it but obviously he didn’t get the memo. The other day, I was asked to play for a friend at a funeral. It was held at a pentecostal church, big organ sitting there and beside it was a keyboard. I’m turning on the keyboard and looking around to see the setup and assess the situation. One of the ministers came up to me and said, “uh the organ is right there.” I looked up, said thank you, and kept doing what I was doing with the keyboard. He said, “uh you don’t want to play the organ?” I looked up, smiled and said, “NO!” Enough said, not today. 😎

We are all beautifully flawed creatures. Embrace your flaws and allow God to mold, perfect and make you shine; then you can soar.


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