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Daddy’s Girl

Daddy’s Girl

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Father’s Day usually doesn’t evoke any emotion from me. My father passed away in 2004, and when he died, we were estranged. The crazy part is that I was a daddy’s girl growing up. I looked like him; I acted like him. I inherited his love to read. He had a large library and I could read whatever book I wanted. He taught me how to play chess (I don’t remember anything now 😀) He tried to teach me how to dance but I was awful (wouldn’t let him lead lol). He loved music and had all different kinds of albums (country, jazz, pop, etc.) that he let me listen to. He was a Pastor, but he allowed me to listen to all types of music which is why my music style is so eclectic. He used to take me to the theater and introduced me to the “arts.” He used to take us out to 5-star restaurants and show us how to live well. (I didn’t know then that we really couldn’t afford it.) He hired me as one of the church’s musicians and insisted that they pay me the same amount as the adults even though I was only 12 years old. My daddy ALWAYS had time for me.

When my father would come home from work, as soon as he opened the door, I would run up to him and jump in his arms because I was so happy he was home. He taught me how to embrace the color of my skin, the kink in my hair, my “march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drum” attitude and my independence. I was quirky and different from everybody else. I was a nerd and introvert. I didn’t have many friends and people hated on me because I was smart and talented, and they thought I thought I was “cute” as they used to say back in the day. But really, I was just shy.

But despite all of that, my father always encouraged me and let me know how proud he was that I was his daughter. I never had insecurities nor self-esteem issues because he reinforced the idea that I was special and unique, and I should be strong and confident, and never make apologies about who I am and the gifts God blessed me with.

So, what happened you may ask… 

Our relationship changed the summer I graduated from high school. We had a big blowup about the fact that I wanted to go to Howard University, and he wanted me to go to Rutgers. Our relationship went downhill from there. 

The next summer when I came home from my first year at Howard, I noticed that things had changed completely for the worse. At the time I didn’t know what it was but there was a darkness in the house. Now when he came home, I wanted him to turn around and leave. I found out some things about my father that put him in a whole different light. Things were being revealed that put a bigger wedge between us. So much to the point that I moved out and went to live with my grandmother.

I won’t go into details, that’s a whole other blog or 2, or 10… But suffice it to say that what I found out caused me to have trust issues to this day!

Fast forward to 2022, I was given a task at to work to create a social media graphic for Father’s Day. The blub that I was given to use mentioned something about celebrating fathers and father figures, and about encouraging people that may not have a good relationship with their fathers. I paused for a minute and thought, hmmm that’s different. I never really heard anybody say that before. All these years Father’s Day would come and go, and I never really addressed what I was really feeling. It was just another day to me.

Then this Thursday, I was talking to my nephew, and I asked him did he have a relationship with his grandfather (my father). He told me some things I didn’t know. He said, “yea, I just went to the cemetery and visited his grave. Then I went to his old church and took pictures of the mural that they created for him. He bought my first keyboard and sound equipment…” My nephew told me all the things that my father had done and about their relationship.

I was touched and convicted. I decided at that moment to choose to remember the good things about MY DADDY and celebrate who I am because of him. I’m confident and strong because of what he taught and instilled in me. I’m working on 
my trust issues and through the negative things that have haunted me. But because of God, my heart is open to love and forgive. I'll always be DADDY'S GIRL!

That’s how God deals with us. He takes the bad, the hurt, the disappointment, the anger, and he makes us stronger, wiser, softer, more forgiving, BETTER! 

Life is what it is, but what we choose to do with our lives is the only thing that matters.


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